HEYYYYY!!!!!!

Are you surprised? Don’t freak out. If this should be embarrassing, it’ll be on my part, not yours. You can always deny being affiliated with this blog entry, but I do need you to take this seriously. Okay?

Like the chicken that I am, I created this post because I don’t have the courage to say these things to you in a manner that I can hear or get your reply. I don’t want to hear or know them – like I said: I’m a chicken like that.

So here it goes:

If you haven’t noticed, which I’m pretty sure you have, I’ve always liked you. Well, “like” is an understatement. You’ve been really special to me ever since… wait.. Let me check my Friendster Inbox… ever since May 24, 2008.   That was the day I first received a message from you. You just dropped by to say Hi, and I replied with a Hi and a comment about your nickname.. and that started our friendship.

I really enjoyed (and I still do) our conversations; Funny how we kind of clicked though we really didn’t know each other. Each day, with each message we exchanged, I grew to like you more and more; and when we finally met.. my fear was confirmed: I actually fell for you. It was really reckless of me to do so, since I knew….. You’ll never be able to return the feelings. But what the heck, I still went for it. I actually waited… and waited.. and waited some more.. for you. Then suddenly, I just had to give up. I was able to move on and let go – or so I thought. Just when I was about to be a FREE WOMAN, you came back. You started talking to me again. You started..being the silly, funny, sweet dude that you are. For the second time, you had me bounded in your spell…and that sucks. REALLY. You have no idea what I had to go through just so I can move on.

I wanted to avoid you…but I couldn’t. Until I actually didn’t want to avoid you. I’m pretty sure this was unintentional, but you coming back and being sweet and all again, made me hope…just for a little bit, that maybe, this is it.

Then I saw something that proved otherwise………… </3

MASAKIT HAAAAA!!!!! LOL. Seriously, it was. Really. I may not show it, but it did. It still does, but not as bad as before. You probably realized something’s wrong that’s why I wasn’t really as attentive as before. Yes, your guess was right. Something’s wrong.

Nagtatampo ako. Buti naman napansin mo, I’d expect you to realize that ‘cause I believe you know me too damn well. Well, I know I don’t have any right to be so, so I didn’t/couldn’t give you a straight answer. Pero ngayon alam mo na. I just laid it out for you.

NOW……… I believe I am your friend, a good friend of yours for that matter. (Hahaha!) Can I ask you an itty, bitty favor? Come on. This is sooo simple even a pre-schooler could handle.

I need you to……..stay away. I need you to be out of my radar – for a while. I’m really not sure for how long, but not so soon, please. It’s really hard for me to not be able to be with you, but I’d rather cut all the ties I have with you than to have you halfway. I know you’re happy now… I’m happy that you are. You deserve it.   Everyone deserves to be happy. I also want to be happy…. And it’s really hard to give myself a chance to be happy with someone else..when you’re around. It seems unfair on my part when I’m dating someone yet, he shares my heart with you, or rather he’s competing for a space you would not even take…

I wanna take a chance on being happy again.. like the way you took your chance with her…

I should clarify this: I’m not mad at you. I don’t feel any bitterness or anguish towards you. But I do need to have this world, free from you, ‘cause that’s the only way I can set myself free.

I want to thank you, though. Thank you for all those times that you made me smile, that you’ve been there for me when I needed someone the most. You never fail to put a smile on my face. I’d always cherish those memories. I still couldn’t believe I was able to have this kind of..kinship..with a person I met online. I thank you for that.

Now…. As I’ve requested. Please. Please. PLEASE. Ignore me. Don’t IM me. Don’t text me. Don’t call me.

I’ll surely miss your antics. Your pa-cute webcam poses. Our conversations. Our kulitan. I’ll definitely miss your kisses and your hugs. Your pokes. Your clamps. I’ll miss you…………………so much.

Goodbye, my Kung-Fu Panda loving, Hello Panda and Yan-Yan eating, Twix addicted, Attorney-to-be..Utopia. ……….

I’ll see you on the flipside…but not too soon. Okay? Take Care. MWAHUGS!