“This needs to stop.” That was the first thing I told myself right after I got his reply.

Ever felt like you’ve given all you’ve got and still, somehow, for whatever reason, it’s still not enough? Imagine how frustrating it could be, when you just gave your 101%, with nothing left for anyone else, most especially for yourself, yet it’s not appreciated, valued, not even recognized.

I still don’t understand why I feel/felt that way for him. I don’t know why I am/was willing to give up/throw away all my beliefs just so I could be with this guy. If I ever had to make a list on why I shouldn’t want him in my life, I could give you a pretty long list.

But still, I fell for him despite of all those things. Fine, I know, I don’t have to have a reason for loving someone. You just love that person, that’s it.

But what about me? Is it enough that I love him this much, yet all my efforts are overlooked? I’m human too. I have my limits, and I believe I’ve reached it already. I came to the point wherein I have nothing to give, and nothing left for myself.

As a friend told me: “hinihigop niya sunshine mo hanggang sa bandang huli, ikaw ang mawawalan.” – and so that happened.

I’m getting tired. I’m sick of catering to him, I’m sick of being his entertainment, I’m sick of him being here only when it’s convenient for him. I’m sick of being used.

I love you – but I should love me more. I love you – but I don’t want to love you anymore. I love you – but it’s time to have someone who deserves my love: someone who values me, someone who appreciates me and someone who won’t be there just because he’s bored.